That was the thought running through my brain"ANIETE" I have actually been thinking about it for a couple of days..but today was the day I have really asked myself...."why am I doing this"?
I seem to have lost complete interest in running. The Frankfurt Marathon is in about 7 weeks, and I feel not only totally unprepared..but also unfit. And if I am going to be really honest to myself..I would have to admit..that I am not going to be able to finish the Marathon. That is the most painful thing about this is accepting..it is true..I haven't got a chance in hell of being a finisher.
I don't want to be "A NIETE" a nothing..a nil..a zero. It isn't like Mainz..where I would have the option of ending the race after the Half Marathon or after the 2/3 Marathon. In Frankfurt it means..all or nothing.
I have decided not only not to run..but I am going to take a break from running officially..Maybe I will still run..here or there..but right this moment..I feel like I don't ever want to run agin.
I ran 14 km today..even though that should be a reason to feel proud..I feel sadness because..it's time to let go of my dream..even if only for a while. Sadness..but also relief..because I have finally had the courage to admit what has been on my mind for a while.